Recently I hit a big milestone in my journey to health…I have lost 50 lbs. It was the first major goal that I had met and it really gave me a boost of confidence that I was doing the right thing, getting healthier and encouraging me to keep pressing on. It is not my half way point…55 to 60 lbs is that milestone, but it was definitely a cause for celebration. I actually have been wanting to blog about it for about a week now, but life has been a little busy.
Last night I had a dream that kind of put my journey into perspective for me. I was in a house-it was mine, but not the one I live in now-it had a rocking backyard where the kids were playing and in the disjointed way of dreams I was watching them through a window when I suddenly realized that I had eaten a piece of cake. I gasped and said “no it has sugar in it,” and then proceeded to binge eat toast and butter. I woke up thinking, for a moment, that it had actually happened.
What I realized though is that I had been talking about my eating choices with a number of people and with all the treats that come with the end of the school year, several asked if I just couldn’t have a cheat day…so even though I have been doing this for 24 weeks and I have had good success with my journey the answer sadly is still no.
It would put me so off track, but from a bigger picture it would undermine all those other days where I get up and make the choice to eat healthy, get moving and try to be the best version of myself. I coast along pretty good, then out of nowhere those habits or coping methods of the past rear their ugly head, and I struggle through not hitting the golden arches for a little greasy comfort.
I have realized though that where I thought I had no self-control (that was really an excuse to give into my cravings) I actually have really strong self-control when I am given the right tools. I am by no means doing this thing perfectly…but I will not give up, especially when I have come so far already.