When I started my journey to health I picked a program that is unique in many ways. One way that it is different is that your goal is not determined by weight or a specific clothing size, but by the mirror test. “What is that?”, you might ask. Simply you move on to a maintenance program when you look in the mirror and like what you see.
When you are NAKED!
I honestly never thought that would happen so I picked some small and bigger goals in terms of weight or inches and I am very happy with my progress, but something strange happened this morning.
It was the butt crack of dawn…my normal get-up time…and I was just about to hop into the shower when I fleetingly glanced in the mirror. I stopped and went back for a second look. I wasn’t happy with what I saw for a stopping point, but it was dang good for a middle point…I saw the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. If I can see this at 5:45 in the AM, under the glare of my bathroom lights, then you know I speak truth.
THERE WILL BE A TIME WHEN I LIKE WHAT I LOOK LIKE IN THE MIRROR…NAKED.
In the day and age where approximately 74% of women hate something about their body and young girls say that they would rather have cancer than be considered fat…this is a HUGE accomplishment. It is my own little counter-cultural movement. I won’t be perfect and my stretch marks are in full bloom…fading, but still visible…but perfection is not my goal. Living healthy, participating in life fully and making my spiritual life richer is my goal…and I will achieve it.
Recently I hit a big milestone in my journey to health…I have lost 50 lbs. It was the first major goal that I had met and it really gave me a boost of confidence that I was doing the right thing, getting healthier and encouraging me to keep pressing on. It is not my half way point…55 to 60 lbs is that milestone, but it was definitely a cause for celebration. I actually have been wanting to blog about it for about a week now, but life has been a little busy.
Last night I had a dream that kind of put my journey into perspective for me. I was in a house-it was mine, but not the one I live in now-it had a rocking backyard where the kids were playing and in the disjointed way of dreams I was watching them through a window when I suddenly realized that I had eaten a piece of cake. I gasped and said “no it has sugar in it,” and then proceeded to binge eat toast and butter. I woke up thinking, for a moment, that it had actually happened.
What I realized though is that I had been talking about my eating choices with a number of people and with all the treats that come with the end of the school year, several asked if I just couldn’t have a cheat day…so even though I have been doing this for 24 weeks and I have had good success with my journey the answer sadly is still no.
It would put me so off track, but from a bigger picture it would undermine all those other days where I get up and make the choice to eat healthy, get moving and try to be the best version of myself. I coast along pretty good, then out of nowhere those habits or coping methods of the past rear their ugly head, and I struggle through not hitting the golden arches for a little greasy comfort.
I have realized though that where I thought I had no self-control (that was really an excuse to give into my cravings) I actually have really strong self-control when I am given the right tools. I am by no means doing this thing perfectly…but I will not give up, especially when I have come so far already.
I had to take a little break from my exercise to help a foot injury heal. Nothing big, but because it was on my foot it seemed to take forever. Secretly I was a little happy about this because I had really been busting out and I thought that a little break would be well deserved…the result was a little different then I had expected.
I missed my walking, not the guilty I haven’t done any exercise today kind of missing, but actively craved being able to get up early and go for my half hour walk…colour me shocked! I didn’t know what do to with this feeling. If you had told me 6 months ago that I would be really upset by not being able to work out I would have laughed, taken a small water break and then laughed some more.
Here is what happened…I use my walking time to do any number of things, create my to do lists, listen to my crazy mix of country, 80s hair rock, Headly and Bon Jovi (don’t judge…I know some of you have Bieber on your play list). I work out problems, think about my blog and just generally download my brain. Things become clearer and I feel energized…it all went away. I didn’t realize how much I depended on my walk to ground me and just work through things.
Today I got back into my groove and it felt great…now walking might not be your thing, but I encourage you to find out what it is and commit to doing it at least three times a week. I went through a few things before I hit on what I wanted to do, so don’t get discouraged. Find your groove.
I am a fairly busy person….I work full-time, have two kids and a husband. I tackle things like cleaning, laundry, groceries and homework-both mine and the kids’-on a regular basis. We have a busy schedule, mostly manageable, but it is not often that we have a day where we don’t have something going on.
Not complaining here, just framing out the issue for you. I am blessed to be able to do a job I love and be surrounded by family and friends who love me. Here is the thing though…I sometimes forget to take a moment.
That moment when you just relax, when I am not mentally checking things off my “To Do” list or getting stuff done around the house, thinking about the next day’s chores or trying to organize childcare…or figuring out vehicles when one needs to go into the shop…just day to day stuff that can heap up.
At the risk of providing you with TMI…I have never been a very “regular” person when it comes to plumbing…my body schedule was way out of wack, and not even the eating program-where I eat a crazy number of fruit and veggies-seemed to be able to get me to a point where I was even once a day. Then I started to realize that if I took the time to sit down…it would come.
I think that we do that a lot…we put off doing what we know we should because it takes up too much time or we think that taking some time for ourselves is somehow a bad investment…IT IS NOT! In fact, not taking the time can lead to really unhealthy habits. I want to encourage you to take the time to take your moment. Invest some time in figuring out what you have been putting off and create a new habit or routine.